Yoon teri rehguzar se deewaanawaar guzre
Posted on: August 1, 2014
This article is written by Sudhir, a fellow enthusiast of Hindi movie music and a contributor to this blog. This article is meant to be posted in atulsongaday.me. If this article appears in sites like lyricstrans.com and ibollywoodsongs.com etc then it is piracy of the copyright content of atulsongaday.me and is a punishable offence under the existing laws.
aaye bhi wo
gaye bhi wo
khatm fasaana ho gayaa
Aisi kuchh baat hai ki, at the mention of Meena Kumari’s name, come to mind these lines written by DN Madhok (‘Namaste’, 1943). Born as Maahjabeen Bano in 1932, on screen in 1939, leading lady by 1950, won the first ever Filmfare award in 1952 (‘Baiju Baawra’), established tragedienne in 1953 (‘Daaera’), married to Kamaal Amarohi in 1952, separated from him in 1960, divorced in 1964, reunited in 1968, and then gone from this world in 1972. Just 40 years on this earth, and a career of thirty three years, ninety films, four Filmfare awards as best actress, and memorable string of powerful roles that made her a legend at an age and time in life when most of us are still finding our feet.
The tragedy queen of the screen, was probably playing the emotions that she experienced in real life. A very discerning, intelligent and sensitive person, by all accounts – that from her own diaries and from writings of others, she was totally devoted to her husband and his family. He was 15 years older to her; she was his second wife; she did not belong to the Syed clan, her husband insisted on not having any children with her. She even accepted that and brought up her stepson as her own. But the professional and personal conflicts grew and the strong personalities that they were, the marital relationship deteriorated.
In 1953, Kamaal Amarohi produced and directed ‘Daaera’, the story of a very young woman married to a man much older than her. The age difference is such that, when they move to a new place, the neighbors not knowing any details of the family, presume them to father and daughter. To the extent that one of the neighboring families come to the old gentleman with a proposal for an alliance for the young woman whom they think is her daughter. It was a film that shook the sensibilities of the society (much as ‘Duniya Na Maane’ had done in 1937). Some speculations have been raised – whether the idea for the film came about from their relationship, or the idea of the relationship came about because he had to make this film.
In 1956, ‘Pakeezah’ was launched. A poignant story of a dancing girl, whose life comes about and is punctuated with disturbances, on account of a high class aristocratic family. Once again, one has a feeling of hidden concepts of the mind from real life, surreptitiously trickling into reel life. The film was sixteen years in the making, mostly because the primary drivers of this project were estranged for almost a decade.
An estrangement that led to separation, and then divorce. The sorrow continues at this loss of what she considered to be the bulwark in her life. Her writings show that she was utterly afraid of loneliness. August of 1961, she was hospitalized for an extended period of time. A diary entry by her during this period says – “Continuously lying on this hospital bed all alone, I feel like a dead body that people have forgotten to bury.”
All her life she was afraid of loneliness. And when the marital discord stepped into her life, so did the wine. And as has been witnessed in many other cases, it does not help; just worsens the situation. It led to deteriorating health, and further fragmentations in life. Company of younger men became the grist of rumor mills and tabloids. Her beauty and appearance seemed to fade. By mid 1960s she started to appear in senior roles – likes of ‘Bahu Begum’ (1967), ‘Bahaaron Ki Manzil’ (1968).
Maybe at this time she realized she did not have much time left. ‘Pakeezah’ was still in the shelves. The rapprochement happened, and the film came back on the studio floor. The beauty regained, it was final glory of a dying sun. And as the day neared its end, so did the sun fade away. Within three weeks of the release of ‘Pakeezah’ (in 1972), she passed away. Her epitaph, that she once wrote herself in one of her ghazals,
jalti bujhti si roshni ke parey
simtaa simtaa sa ek makaan tanhaa
raah dekha karega sadiyon tak
chhod jaayenge ye jahaan tanhaa
Away from the blinking lights
Away from the beating heart
There is a lonely deserted house
That cringes and cowers alone
I will go
Alone
And leave this world, alone
It will wait for me
Watching my homecoming paths
For centuries to come
For ages to come
Reticent and inwardly agonized much as she would have been, it all got expressed in her poetry. Her verses and ghazals tell of a very lonely and sad soul, so much wanting love, but only ending up with neglected desires and an abandoned solitude. So much like lost in a desert, with no one to hear your cries for help.
In 1970, this LP titled ‘I Write, I Recite’ was published. Composed to some very light but very engaging tunes by Khaiyyaam Sb, Maahjabeen sings a selection from her own poetry. For this post, I present this beautiful ghazal, that is part of this wonderfully compiled LP.
The sounds of her voice bring in the images of the Chhoti Bahu of ‘Sahib, Bibi Aur Ghulam’ (1962) agonized by her own desires, the tormented Parineeta of ‘Parineeta’ (1953), the dejected and helpless Karuna of ‘Dil Apna Aur Preet Paraayi’ (1960), the silent incarceration of Sheetal in ‘Daaera’ (1953), the tragic fatalism of Benazir in ‘Benazir’ (1964), and the beleaguered Sahib Jaan of ‘Pakeezah’, forever running from her past – like the whistling train passing by in the night, far, far away.
And the words. It is a poetry that displays the both the beauty and the sorrow, poetry that displays both the depth of intellect and the intensity of agonies of the mind. But most of all, it displays the eternal sadness of a lonely and scared soul, searching for succor in a world where rarely can someone live a life for someone else. The sadness is so well submitted in the lines of this ghazal.
yun teri rehguzar se dewaana-waar guzre
kaandhe pa apne rakh ke apna mazaar guzre
In a senseless fancy
I treaded the paths
The paths that you traverse often
Carrying the my own crypt
On my shoulders
(Maybe you would notice
This strange funeral pageant)
baithe hain raaste mein dil ka khandar sajaa kar
shaayad isi taraf se ik din bahaar guzre
Naively sitting by the pathways
Fussying the embellishments
Of the ruins of my heart
Maybe one day
The spring will venture this way
Naively I sit and wait
behti hui ye nadiya, ghulte huye kinaare
koi to paar utre, koi to paar guzre
Ah, the flowing waters of time
Slowly wearing down
The embankments of life
Alone I sit on this side, waiting
Oh wish, someone would cross over
Ah, or someone
May just pass by on the opposite bank
[Note: To me, this couplet is an epitome of an expression of loneliness. “The river of time is incessantly flowing. The life is eroding by the minute, the physical form is creepily dissolving as the flow of time passes. I am sitting on this bank. No one crosses this river, no one is even visible on the other side.” Gosh, what a compelling description of loneliness.]
tu ne bhi hum ko dekha, hum ne bhi tujhko dekha
tu dil hi haar guzraa, hum jaan haar guzre
We met, we saw, we judged one another
And sallied together into this game of love
You wagered your heart
And lost it
I wagered my life
. . .
And lost it
There is a haunting song by Don Maclean titled ‘Vincent’. (Folks may also remember it by another name – “Starry Starry Nights”). A couplet comes to mind as I am thinking and writing about her.
This world was never meant for
One as beautiful as you
Yes, Maahjabeen, this world is not for souls like you.
Song-Yoon teri rehguzar se deewaanawaar guzre (Meena Kumari NFS)(1970) Singer-Meena Kumari, Lyrics-Meena Kumari, MD-Khayyam
Lyrics
yoon teri rehguzar se ae
dewaana-waar guzre
yoon teri rehguzar se ae
dewaana-waar guzre
yoon teri rehguzar se ae
dewaana-waar guzre ae
kaandhe pa apne rakh ke ae
apna mazaar guzre
kaandhe pa apne rakh ke ae
apna mazaar guzre
yun teri rehguzar se ae
dewaana-waar guzre
baithe hain raaste mein ae
dil ka khandhar sajaa kar ar
baithe hain raaste mein ae
dil ka khandhar sajaa kar ar
shaayad isi taraf se ae
ek din bahaar guzre
shaayad isi taraf se ae
ek din bahaar guzre
behti hui ye nadiya
ghulte huye kinaare ae
behti hui ye nadiya
ghulte huye kinaare ae
koi to paar utre ae
koi to paar guzre
koi to paar utre
koi to paar guzre
tu ne bhi hum ko dekha aa
hum ne bhi tujhko dekha aa
tu ne bhi hum ko dekha aa
hum ne bhi tujhko dekha aa
tu dil hi haar guzraa
hum jaan haar guzre
tu dil hi haar guzraa
hum jaan haar guzre
yun teri rehguzar se ae
dewaana-waar guzre
——————————————-
Hindi script lyrics (Provided by Sudhir)
——————————————-
यूं तेरी रहगुज़र से
दीवानावार गुज़रे
यूं तेरी रहगुज़र से
दीवानावार गुज़रे
यूं तेरी रहगुज़र से
दीवानावार गुज़रे
कांधे पे अपने रख के
अपना मज़ार गुज़रे
कांधे पे अपने रख के
अपना मज़ार गुज़रे
बैठे हैं रास्ते में
दिल का खंडर सजा कर
बैठे हैं रास्ते में
दिल का खंडर सजा कर
शायद इसी तरफ से
इक दिन बहार गुज़रे
शायद इसी तरफ से
इक दिन बहार गुज़रे
बहती हुयी ये नदिया
घुलते हुये किनारे
बहती हुयी ये नदिया
घुलते हुये किनारे
कोई तो पार उतरे
कोई तो पार गुज़रे
कोई तो पार उतरे
कोई तो पार गुज़रे
तूने भी हमको देखा
हमने भी तुझको देखा
तूनेभी हमको देखा
हमने भी तुझको देखा
तू दिल ही हार गुज़रा
हम जान हार गुज़रे
तू दिल ही हार गुज़रा
हम जान हार गुज़रे
यूं तेरी रहगुज़र से
दीवानावार गुज़रे
5 Responses to "Yoon teri rehguzar se deewaanawaar guzre"
August 2, 2014 at 3:07 pm
Sudhir Ji,
I think I have said it before. Your writing is simply lyrical. Like an artist you have painted a beautiful profile with minimal strokes. After reading your article on Meenakumar and listening to the apt and poignant rendition in her voice, I am reminded of the line,
“If you have tears, shed them now.”
I learn that in Urdu, Mahjabeen means ‘pretty like the moon’, and in Arabic the word means ‘strong’. Yes she was Mahjabeen, beautiful. Was she weak? No. I don’t think so. She might have been afraid of loneliness, but a lady who could face all those turbulence all alone in her life, cannot be anything but strong. Yes she was indeed Mahjabeen.
In some way or another we all experience both loneliness and solitude. Loneliness begets pain because here we feel that no one is available to share our feelings, while in solitude we enjoy the luxury of being with just ourselves, even when we have people around us whenever they are needed.
Sorry, I am getting carried away. You have reverberated an emotional chord deep within.
Thank you.
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August 2, 2014 at 6:15 pm
This is indeed a beautiful tribute to Meena Kumari. Lyrical, as Venkataramanji here says.
In her short 40-year lifetime, Meena Kumari experienced SO much! She won so many hearts – and was yet so lonely for many years towards the end of her life.
She was definitely an intelligent personality – and early on, fun-loving too (that might have changed later). I read an interview of hers – these qualities came across very strongly.
Daaera (1953) is close to my heart because I subtitled the film. It is not all that well-known a film (amongst today’s folks) but it leaves an impression, for sure. Not least because of Meena Kumari’s acting – and Kamal Amrohi’s direction.
Thank you for this wonderful post, Sudhirji.
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August 2, 2014 at 10:20 pm
What a soulful, beautiful, heartfelt tribute to a great actress.
She could convey emotions with her eyes, with a slight smile and perfect expressions.
I listened to ‘Chand tanha hai, asma tanha’ often on radio. It is such a lovely song. So is this one.
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August 6, 2014 at 10:07 am
Sudhirji, a very fitting tribute. Both the meanings of her name suited her perfectly. Vinod Mehta who has written her biography has said “she is better in the place that she is now even if a fraction of the accounts of trauma she has underwent is true”. Such was her life!
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Atul’s Song A Day- A choice collection of Hindi Film & Non-Film Songs 
August 2, 2014 at 8:47 am
Lovely ‘Poetic’ tribute and carrying the intensity of the eternal sadness of loneliness …
Iam speechless…
after reading this article one can feel the agonies in her life…
t h a n k s
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