Maine har haal mein jeene kee qasam khaayee hai
Posted on: September 20, 2026
This article is written by Sadanand Kamath, a fellow enthusiast of Hindi movie music and a contributor to this blog. This article is meant to be posted in atulsongaday.me. If this article appears in other sites without the knowledge and consent of the web administrator of atulsongaday.me, then it is piracy of the copyright content of atulsongaday.me and is a punishable offence under the existing laws.
| Blog Day : | 6638 | Post No. : | 20577 | Movie Count : | 5274 |
‘Swayam’ (1991) was a telefim produced by Mudra Videotech and was directed by Mahesh Bhatt. The cast included Waheeda Rehman. Akash Khurana, Mahesh Anand, Soni Razdan, Ila Arun, Avtar Gill, Javed Khan, Anang Desai, Anupam Kher, Mushtaq Khan, Promod Mautho etc with friendly appearances by Sadashiv Amrapurkar, Paresh Rawal and Rohini Hattangadi.
This is one of a rare film in which Mahesh Anand had a positive role. For Waheeda Rehman, this film was a turning point as she got the main protagonist’s role after doing supporting roles since mid-1970 in films like, ‘Kabhie Kabhie (1976), ‘Trishul’ (1978), ‘Namkeen’ (1982), ‘Lamhe’ (1991) etc. After this film, Waheeda Rehman took a long sabbatical from her filmy career and shifted her base to Bengaluru along with her husband.
The trend of making telefilms started in the second half of 1980s and continued in 1990s. Hiba Films of Nari Hira, the publisher of the film magazine, ‘Star Dust’ was a pioneer of making telefilms which had released around 15 Hindi films on television, mainly on Doordarshan through video cassettes. Aditya Pancholi, Neeta Puri, Zarine Wahab, Kamaljeet Singh etc were some of the new actors who were associated with his telefilms. Mahesh Bhatt made telefilms, ‘Janam’ (1985), ‘Daddy’ (1989), ‘Swayam’ (1991) and ‘Phir Teri Kahaani Yaad aayee’ (1993) etc. While Nari Hira preferred producing telefilms to work on a low budget with bold story which may be of not much interest to the financiers/distributors from the commercial angle. Mahesh Bhatt on the other hand took the medium of telefilms, mostly based on the events in his life. His films were made, more or less, on the lines of middle cinema which may not be commercially viable in mainstream cinema. Also, with no tension of box office success, he had more creative freedom in telefilms than in mainstream cinema.
The film was recommended to me by Prakashchandra ji for writing the article on it. The story of the film centres around a wife (Waheeda Rehman) who is faced with the terminal illness of her husband (Akash Khurana) for which she has to sell her jewelries for his medical treatment. Furthermore, she has been facing the troubled marriage of her two daughters. Her husband dies and she is left alone in her house. Although her two daughters offer her to live in their houses, she rejects it and decides to stand on her own feet on her own terms to follow her husband’s advice. After facing some initial hic-ups, in the end, she achieves the complete financial and emotional independence on her own terms (Swayam). The film is a highly emotional family drama. The screenplay is written with great details to make the audience deeply touched by the events unfolding in the story.
The story of the film in detail is as under:
The film starts with Aparajita Chitre (Waheeda Rehman) getting ready to visit the hospital where her husband Avinash (Akash Khurana) has been hospitalised for his terminal illness. They had lost their son in an accident. Their two daughters, Nandini (Soni Razdan) and Poonam (Ila Arun) are married and live with their husbands. While Nandini’s husband, Ajit (Mahesh Anand ) is a struggling actor, Poonam’s husband, Deepak (Avtar Gill) has an affair with Rekha (??) and most of the days, he remains away from home to be with Rekha. This has led to the marital discord between Poonam and Deepak.
Aparajita, having spent all their savings in the treatment of Avinash, has decided to sell her jewelries to raise money. When Nandini comes to know about it, she is disturbed and shouts at Ajit for not having money to help her mother. He takes out whatever cash he has and gives to Nandini with an assurance that he will get more cash in a day or two when he signs a new film. Poonam has arranged some money to send it to her mother for the treatment of her father. Nandini visits her mother to handover the money to her which she refuses to take. She also returns the money sent by Poonam. In both cases she tells them that the money belongs to them and they will need it. She will raise money through selling her jewelries. Afterall jewelries are meant for raising money in the emergency situations. Nandini and Ajit accompany Aparjita on her visit to the hospital.
Avinash enquires about Poonam and Deepak who have not visited the hospital to see him for many days. He asks Ajit to bring Deepak as he has to talk to him on some urgent matter. Deepak reluctantly comes to hospital along with Poonam. Avinash reminds Deepak that despite his opposition, he has allowed Poonam to get married to him. He wants to settle the issue once for all between Poonam and him before he dies. If there is anything wrong with her, it is better that he should divorce her as she is educated and is capable of getting a job. If there is nothing wrong with her, he should terminate his illicit relationship with another woman and be faithful to his wife. Deepak affirms that he has no problem with Poonam and comes out of the room. He telephones to Rekha about the termination of their relationship.
In their private moment in the hospital room, Avinash tells Aparjita that he will pass away soon. But her life will remain as it is, irrespective of their deep relationship. He is aware that she will face hardship but she will learn to swim with her changed life. Their conversations takes place with radio playing a song in the background, ‘aa jaao tadapte hain armaan’ from ‘Aawaara’ (1951). He recalls the important events in their married life, both happy and sad. He asks for some water to drink. Before she can fetch him, Avinash is no more. As per his wish, his eyes are donated. It was also his wish that he should be cremated in the electric crematorium without any costy religious ceremonies.
One day, Poonam and Nandini visit their mother’s house with a request to shift to their houses. Aparjita politely refuses and tells them that for the last so many years, she has the great memories of the house with their father and she cannot leave those memories. The daughters point out that it is not easy to stay alone in the house in the old age. Also, the society will pass strictures on them for leaving the mother to stay alone. Also, soon, and she will not have money to take care of her day to day requirements. Aparajita says that she does not want to become burden on anybody and she will manage to earn money in due course. With Aparajita’s adamant stand, her daughters leave her alone. They arrange to send her the required grocery items with their own money which she refuses to accept. Over a period of time, Aparajita stops answering the calls from her daughters. Poonam and Nandita are worried as to the well-being of their mother. Poonam sends Deepak to her mother’s house when she refuses to open the door. He tells Poonam and Nandini that she should be left alone for some days. But Nandini who is more frantic than Poonam does not agree with Deepak.
After few days, in diference to the wishes of Avinash, Aparjita donates his all personal belongings including books and his photo frame to an orphanage run by Father Maurice (Anang Desai). He had told her that after his death his personal things including the photos should not remain in the house. His reasoning was that with his cremation, even his memories also get cremated. The memories of the dead will not allow to live her life peacefully. Nandini uses the good offices of Father Maurice to convince her mother to stay with her which he agrees to convey.
One day, Aparajita gives a surprise visit to Nandini’s house to express her regret for the harsh behaviour towards her daughters and sons-n-laws. She also gives a courtesy visit to Father Maurice when he reveals about the visit of Nandini. He suggests her that she should consider Nandini’s request. Aparajita says that sometimes she also feels that she should stay with her daughters and enjoy the carefree life as she have two loving daughters and sons-in-law who are concerned about her wellbeing. But her inner voice says that agreeing to her daughters’ suggestion will amount to conceding the defeat for her stand to live on her own terms. During the visit, Father Maurice hands over to Aparajita a piece of paper found in one of the books donated on which Avinash had handwritten a poem for her. She finds the poem a motivation for her. She places the piece of paper with the poem written thereon in the place vacated by the photo frame of Avinash which she had earlier removed as per his wish after his death.
Soon, an incidence of mugging by two anti-social element happens with Aparajita. However, the timely appearance of a Police Officer (Sadashiv Amrapurkar) prevents an untoward incedence. He takes her to the police station where Nandini and Ajit reach. The police officer scolds Nandini and Ajit for leaving their old mother alone. With this, Nandini puts pressure on her mother to shift to her house which she very reluctantly agrees. But within few days despite taking good care by Nandini and Ajit, Aparajita decides that it is better to be dead than become a burden on her daughter. She tries to commit suicide twice in a single day but each time some providence saves her. On the same day, she has not returned to Nandini’s house and they are worried. Ajit and Deepak go out in search of her at every place she is known to visit but there is no trace of her.
Actually, on her second attempt to commit suicide by jumping into see where her son had got drown, Aparajita sees Father Maurice with a boy whom he introduces her as the same boy who is the recipient of her husband’s eyes. She goes with Father Maurice and the boy in his orphanage. Finally, Poonam and Nandini along with their husbands locate the mother in the orphange. She tells her daughters and sons-in-law that she has started feeling that she has been newly born. She wants to face her new life on her own terms and it is her final decision against which no one should argue with her. She tells her daughter that at this age, she cannot change her inherent nature. She also reveals that Father Maurice has given her job as a story teacher in the school which she has started enjoying it.
The film ends with Aparajita telling Nandini and Poonam that they should leave her without their supporting hands so that she can ‘learn to walk alone’ in the same way when she was holding Nandini’s hand in her childhood but soon she learned to walk alone without her mother’s support. For the first time, her daughters’ response is affirmative.
The film had two background songs each one written by Suraj Sanim and Ila Arun which were set to music by Ajit Verman and Ila Arun, respectively. The film makes a debut on the Blog with its first song, ‘maine har haal mein jeene kee kasam khaai hai’ written by Suraj Sanim and rendered by Asha Bhosle under the music difrection of Ajit Verman.
The context of the song is that after donating all the books of her late husband Avinash (Akash Khurana) to an orphanage, Aparajita meets Father Maurice (Anang Desai). During their conversations, he tells her that while going through one of Avinash’s books, he found a piece of paper with a hand written poem by Avinash which he hands over to her. While leaving, she sits on the bench of the orphanage and start reading the poem and simultaneously the background song starts with the same poem as she reads. After reaching home, Aparajita sticks the same piece of paper with poem on the wall in a place vacated by Avinash’s photo frame which she had earlier removed as per his wish after his death.
This poignant song is beautifully rendered by Asha Bhosle which is one more example of her versality.
Video Clip:
Audio Clip:
Song-Maine har haal mein (Swayam)(1991) Singer-Asha Bhonsle, Lyricist-Suraj Sanim, MD-Ajit Verman
Lyrics :
maine har haal meinjeene kee kasam khaayee hai
aasmaan ab tu hee bataa
teraa iraadaa kyaa aa hai
maine har haal mein
jeene kee kasam khaayee hai
aasmaan ab tu hee bataa
teraa iraadaa kyaa aa hai
maine har haal mein
phaanee kehkar jag mujhee ko jalaata kyaa hai
phaani kehkar jag mujhee ko daraata kyaa hai
maine inko ?? ?? ?? farishton kee tarah
main rahoon ke ya na rahoon
iska naheen gham mujhko
maine har haal mein aen
aadamee wo jisey ?? ?? marta kyun hai
aadami wo jisey ?? ?? marta kyun hai
jism aur jaan mein
dard kee shiddat kyon hai
jo safar baakee hai
to phir paaon mein larjish kyun hai E ae
maine har haal mein
jeene kee kasam khaayee hai
aasmaan ab tu hee bataa
teraa iraadaa kyaa aa hai
maine har haal mein aen
4 Responses to "Maine har haal mein jeene kee qasam khaayee hai"
September 20, 2026 at 7:13 pm
As for the lyrics here are the missing words. The lines are as follows:
maine insaan taraashe hain farishton ki tarah
and
aadamee maut se pehele hee martaa kyun hai
I would like to correct other lines.
I heard them as follows:
main rahoon phir yaa naa rahoon
and
to phir paaon mein larjish ye kyun hai
Please check if they are right.
Thank you again for the song.
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Sadanand Kamath
September 20, 2026 at 7:28 pm
harveypam jee,
Thanks for filling up the missing words as well as amendments.
The missings words as well as some changes in lyrics suggested by you make sense in their respective lines.
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Atul’s Song A Day- A choice collection of Hindi Film & Non-Film Songs 
September 20, 2026 at 7:10 pm
Thank you, Sadaanandjee, for this wonderful song.
I had been searching for this song for decades. But some 10–15 years ago, I gave up the search. Many years ago, Prakashchandrajee had discussed the film on this blog or mine, although I now forget what the context was. Maybe it was my post on 10 favourite Waheeda Rehman songs.
I remember watching this movie on DD when it was aired. DD used to air many good films in those days. I loved the film at that time. At the beginning of the movie, I couldn’t understand the character of Aparajita and why she was not listening to her daughters.
It is interesting to see how Mahesh Bhatt turned the story around, as the usual theme in Hindi cinema until then was quite different. In most films about old people, the story was about their children not looking after them. Mahesh Bhatt turns the story around to show how the widow wants to live on her own, although her daughters would love to have her live with them.
The movie brought about a change in my perspective on old people. (I just calculated that, at that time, Waheeda Rehman was younger than I am now!) Till the end of the movie, I had tears in my eyes.
So I am very grateful that you posted this song and brought back so many old memories.
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September 20, 2026 at 7:25 pm
harveypam jee,
I had the same feeling after watching the film as yours.
Your are correct. Mahesh Bhatt went against the wind in that time when the emphasis in the Hindi films was to show that children were not taking care of their parents.
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